The moment a child voices a hilarious comment, many moms, dads, grandparents, and teachers promise themselves to jot it down so that they will remember it forever.\u00a0 Few of those adults actually do so, much to their later regret.\u00a0 In a recent crowd sourcing exercise, I was surprised by the paucity of responses I received after asking people to post funny comments made by their children.\u00a0 Perhaps some ignored the request because they couldn\u2019t remember any \u201cfunnies\u201d; others might have felt that the remarks they\u00a0could<\/b>\u00a0recall were not fit for publication.\u00a0 Still others might have been of the opinion that you \u201chad to be there\u201d in order to appreciate the humor in a recalled remark.<\/p>\n
\u201cThanks for the mammaries\u201d:\u00a0 It\u2019s safe to say that you didn\u2019t have to be there in order to laugh out loud upon hearing\u00a0this<\/b>\u00a0memorable exchange.\u00a0 A little girl accompanied her mom to the hairdresser one day. As she stood next to the hairdresser\u2019s chair, eating a snack while her mom got her hair cut, the stylist said to the child, \u201cHoney, you’re going to get hair all over your Twinkie.\u201d\u00a0 The little girl immediately replied, \u201cYes, I know, and I’m gonna get boobs like my mama\u2019s, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Speaking of boobs, I just remembered the comment my eldest daughter Keelan, then almost four years old, made to me when I was about seven months\u2019 pregnant with my third baby, her sister Devon.\u00a0 Early one morning, Keelan entered the bathroom just as I emerged, dripping wet, from the shower.\u00a0 \u201cOh, Mommy, you\u2019re getting very fat!\u201d I reminded her that I had a baby growing inside me, to which she responded rather indignantly, \u201cYes, I know\u00a0that<\/b>, but what’s growing inside your\u00a0other<\/b>\u00a0boobie?’<\/p>\n
All four of my children attended a Montessori preschool staffed entirely by nuns.\u00a0 Several times a year, parents had the opportunity to observe their children through an opening mirrored on the classroom side of the pane and clear on the observation room side.\u00a0 Teachers generally knew whose parents were observing on any given day and tried their best to put the children of the observers within seeing and hearing distance.\u00a0 My friend Jen* and I observed our children, her Ian and my Drew, one morning shortly after Jen had delivered her fourth child.\u00a0 After seating the children in a circle, Sister Margaret Mary addressed Ian:\u00a0 \u201cWhen you and your family go to Florida on vacation next week, why don\u2019t you leave baby Sam with me and the other sisters?\u00a0 We\u2019ll take good care of him.\u201d\u00a0 Ian, looking down at his crossed legs, replied, \u201cSorry, Sister.\u00a0 I can\u2019t leave him.\u201d\u00a0 After assuring Ian that the sisters would LOVE to babysit Sam for a week, Ian continued to decline her generous offer with an emphatic \u201cCan\u2019t!\u201d\u00a0 Finally, Sister asked him, \u201cWell, why\u00a0can\u2019t<\/b>\u00a0you leave Sam with me and the other sisters?\u201d to which he responded, \u201c\u2019Cause ya gotta have \u2018BWEASTS,\u2019 and my mommy takes her bweasts everywhere she goes!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBweasts\u201d aren\u2019t the only body parts that pique a child\u2019s interest.\u00a0 In defining the spinal column on a test, one bright student wrote, \u201cThe spinal column is a long bunch of bones.\u00a0 The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.\u201d\u00a0 Another student explained the circulatory system in this way:\u00a0 \u201cThe blood circulates through the human body by flowing down one leg and up the other.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow Do I Love Thee?\u201d:\u00a0 When asked to provide a good title for a love song, a classroom full of nine-year-old Southern country- and hip-hop-music fans collaborated to come up with a few great answers.\u00a0 In no particular order, my favorites are as follows:<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, Honey, You\u2019re As Sweet As Big Ol\u2019 Bag Of Gummy Worms\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHey, Baby, I Am Stuck On You Like Dog Poop On Your Shoe\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cLovebug, You Make My Heart Burn\u201d<\/p>\n
Who says romance is dead?<\/p>\n
Whether in church, at school, at home or in a car, kids really do say the darnedest things.\u00a0 Next time your own child or grandchild makes a funny, take the time to document it while it is still fresh in your mind.\u00a0 \u00a0Who knows; given a sufficient number of children and grandchildren, you might someday have enough material for a book!\u00a0 Absent that, you\u2019ll at least have a treasure trove of amusing stories to relate to those kids when they have children of their very own!<\/p>\n
By Cara Sheridan O\u2019Donnell.<\/p>\n
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