{"id":9832,"date":"2023-11-22T22:36:35","date_gmt":"2023-11-22T22:36:35","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/?p=9832"},"modified":"2023-11-22T22:37:20","modified_gmt":"2023-11-22T22:37:20","slug":"one-awkward-moment-relived","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/2023\/11\/22\/one-awkward-moment-relived\/","title":{"rendered":"One Awkward Moment, Relived."},"content":{"rendered":"

Letter From America.
\n<\/strong><\/h1>\n

\u00a0A meme I recently saw read, very simply, as follows:<\/p>\n

Picture it (if you can bear to do so):\u00a0 Me, early June, 2011; I was sitting naked on the side of a tub at my mother’s Manhasset, Long Island house, rubbing some self-tanner on my freshly depilated and exfoliated, Pillsbury-Doughboy-white legs.\u00a0 Suddenly, I slipped backwards, cracking my head on the soap dish, my upraised, lotion-slicked legs splayed most unbecomingly.\u00a0 I saw stars momentarily and feared, for a split second, that I was losing consciousness.\u00a0 (I probably did.\u00a0 Then again, I DO tend to exaggerate a bit in telling any tale\u2014even on myself.\u00a0 Just ask my kids.)\u00a0 My first thought was, \u201cI am going to have to yell for help from my mommy.\u201d\u00a0 Mind you, my mother at that time was 85 years old and hardly in any shape to haul my sorry butt out of a deep bathtub.<\/p>\n

Moreover, it was quite possible that she would be mightily pissed off upon being summoned, as my accident occurred right in the middle of a new episode of one of her favorite detective shows on TV.\u00a0 It then occurred to me that Mom would have to call 911, putting me in exactly the same position mentioned in the meme above.\u00a0 \u201cThank God,\u201d I thought to myself, \u201cI only weigh 108 pounds.\u00a0 I won\u2019t give some poor emergency medical technician a hernia when he tries to scoop me up out of this porcelain purgatory.\u201d\u00a0 My next thought, though, was far from heartening.\u00a0 Manhasset has an incredibly efficient, all-volunteer team in what is known as the Manhasset-Lakeville Fire Department.\u00a0 They are the super-swift first responders to any emergency 911 call made by anyone in the area.\u00a0 I know many of those volunteers, if not by name, then certainly well enough to say hello to on occasion.\u00a0 Slim as I was at the time, I didn\u2019t relish the thought of anyone I knew\u2014even slightly\u2014seeing my 60 (almost 61) \u2013year-old body sans clothing.<\/p>\n

\"slipslip in shower<\/span><\/span>I \u201ccame to\u201d in a few seconds and managed, if shakily, to rescue myself\u2014or, at least, to stand upright.\u00a0 I grabbed a plush terrycloth robe from a hook on the back of the bathroom door and wrapped it around myself but, almost immediately, felt a steady drip of something warm and thick running down my neck and back.\u00a0 Placing my hand at the back of my head, I was horrified to find that it was drenched in blood.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to die, but at least I\u2019m not going to die naked,\u201d was my next thought, followed by, \u201cand if I live at least another 12 hours or so, I might even be attractively tanned at my wake.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 It didn\u2019t occur to me (at that time, anyway) that my legs would probably be covered by the bottom half of the casket, or that my face would be slathered with cosmetics applied by a mortician\u2019s heavy hand, and that nobody would appreciate the care I took to beautify myself on the night of my tragic accident.\u00a0 I did, oddly enough, though, wonder how many people (and who) would actually show up for the viewing hours.<\/p>\n

I have to mention that I was heading to Providence, Rhode Island, the day after my accident to visit with two close college friends whom I hadn\u2019t seen in a few years.\u00a0 The self-tanning was entirely unnecessary, a vain move on my part.\u00a0 I should have known that my old friends, Sue Vogel Cawley and Libbi Manley Murray, wouldn\u2019t have given a fat rat\u2019s tail if I had arrived for the weekend looking like Casper the Friendly Ghost.\u00a0 I did make the trip the next day, albeit with a still-oozing bump the size of a watermelon on the back of my head\u2014oh, there I go again, with the hyperbole!\u2014but none the worse for my traumatic experience of the night before.<\/p>\n

Awkward moments?\u00a0 Yeah, they do happen, sometimes just the way a clever meme describes them.\u00a0 And I\u2019m living proof.\u00a0 P.S.\u00a0 I don\u2019t weight 108 pounds anymore.\u00a0 Good!\u00a0 (I suppose.)\u00a0 I have more padding now, just in case I suffer another bathroom fall in the future.\u00a0 That extra personal avoirdupois (plus the wet suit I now wear when bathing) should spare me from any serious harm and\/or potential embarrassment, don\u2019t you agree?<\/p>\n

CaraSheridanOD@gmail.com<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

By Cara Sheridan O\u2019Donnell<\/p>\n

You can Tweet, Like us on Facebook, Share, Google+, print and email from the top of this article.<\/p>\n

Copyright \u00a9 2014, DPNLIVE \u2013 All Rights Reserved.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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