{"id":10277,"date":"2023-11-24T17:52:05","date_gmt":"2023-11-24T17:52:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/?p=10277"},"modified":"2023-11-24T17:53:19","modified_gmt":"2023-11-24T17:53:19","slug":"little-old-lady-in-court","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/2023\/11\/24\/little-old-lady-in-court\/","title":{"rendered":"LITTLE OLD LADY IN COURT"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

Will you please state your age?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I am 94 years old.<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and sat down beside me!<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

Did you know him?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No, but he sure was friendly.<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

What happened after he sat down?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He started to rub my thigh.<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

Did you stop him?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No, I didn’t stop him.<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

Why not?<\/p>\n

Little Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

some 30 years ago.<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

What happened next?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

He began to rub me all over of my body.<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

Did you stop him then?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No, I did not stop him.<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

Why not?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I haven’t felt that good in years!<\/p>\n

Defence Attorney:<\/p>\n

What happened next?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I just laid down<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

and told him – ‘Take me, young man. Take me now! ‘<\/p>\n

Defense Attorney:<\/p>\n

Did he take you?<\/p>\n

Old Lady:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hell, no! He just yelled, \u201cApril Fool!”<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And that’s when I shot him, the little bastard.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age? Old Lady:   I am 94 years old. Defence Attorney: Will you<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[77,79],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fun","category-true-or-false"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10277"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10278,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10277\/revisions\/10278"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}