{"id":10151,"date":"2023-11-23T21:10:36","date_gmt":"2023-11-23T21:10:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/?p=10151"},"modified":"2023-11-23T21:10:41","modified_gmt":"2023-11-23T21:10:41","slug":"great-truths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/2023\/11\/23\/great-truths\/","title":{"rendered":"Great Truths"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:<span class=\"Apple-style-span\"><br \/>\n<\/span>\u00a01) No matter how hard you try, you can&#8217;t baptize cats.<br \/>\n2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don&#8217;t let her brush your hair.<br \/>\n3) If your sister hits you, don&#8217;t hit her back. They always catch the second person.<br \/>\n4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.<br \/>\n5) You can&#8217;t trust dogs to watch your food..<br \/>\n6) Don&#8217;t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..<br \/>\n7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.<br \/>\n8) You can&#8217;t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.<br \/>\n9) Don&#8217;t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.<br \/>\n10) The best place to be when you&#8217;re sad is Grandma&#8217;s lap.<\/p>\n<p>GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:<br \/>\n1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.<br \/>\n2) Wrinkles don&#8217;t hurt.<br \/>\n3) Families are like fudge&#8230;mostly sweet, with a few nuts<br \/>\n4) Today&#8217;s mighty oak is just yesterday&#8217;s nut that held its ground&#8230;<br \/>\n5) Laughing is good exercise. It&#8217;s like jogging on the inside.<br \/>\n6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..<br \/>\n<span class=\"Apple-style-span\"><br \/>\n<\/span>GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD<br \/>\n1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional&#8230;<br \/>\n2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.<br \/>\n3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you&#8217;re down there.<br \/>\n4) You&#8217;re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.<br \/>\n5) It&#8217;s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0questions\u2026<br \/>\n6) Time may be a great healer, but it&#8217;s a lousy beautician<br \/>\n7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.<br \/>\n<span class=\"Apple-style-span\"><br \/>\n<\/span>THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:<br \/>\n1) You believe in Santa Claus.<br \/>\n2) You don&#8217;t believe in Santa Claus.<br \/>\n3) You are Santa Claus..<br \/>\n4) You look like Santa Claus.<\/p>\n<p>SUCCESS:<br \/>\nAt age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.<br \/>\nAt age 12 success is . . . Having friends.<br \/>\nAt age 17 success is . . Having a driver&#8217;s license.<br \/>\nAt age 35 success is . . . ..having money.<br \/>\nAt age 50 success is . . . Having money..<br \/>\nAt age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.<br \/>\nAt age 75 success is . &#8230; . Having friends.<br \/>\nAt age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants<\/p>\n<p>Ellen Neumann<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2012, DPNLIVE \u2013 All Rights Reserved<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: \u00a01) No matter how hard you try, you can&#8217;t baptize cats. 2) When<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10152,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[78,77],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-a-bit-of-fun","category-fun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10151"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10151\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10153,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10151\/revisions\/10153"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dev.webhostlabs.net\/synergy\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}